When does it end..

I have to say, with much regret I might add, I find myself at a loss. I am craving a good blog post, but can find nothing to post about. This is quite annoying because when I want to write, I end up writing someway, somehow. Yet, when I have not a thing I can think of exciting to write about, what am I to do? I feel as though nothing really overly good, or bad; happy, or sad; exciting, or traumatic has really happened recently. If nothing of this sort has happened, what is a girl to write about?

Although, I have been rather upset with myself in the fact that in this past week, between my being pretty sick and being snowed in, I have drawn away from my daily bible reading. This makes me so mad that I let myself draw away from something so important; and yet, all of those days I didn't read, I didn't do one thing to fix it. I let it slide, said to myself "I'll make it up tomorrow." Slipping farther and farther from where I should be. I have even been slacking on my prayers at night before I go to bed! When I look back and reflect on it, I feel like a horrible person.

I pray for forgiveness and the strength to not let it happen again, and I feel motivated to start back to it again for a few minutes after my grief. Then, when it comes time to when I would read and then pray, I think to myself how tired I am, and of think of the next days activities and neglect to do what I know I should. I technically put God on the back burner. I push Him to the side on my priority list. It's a horrible thing to do, something that would seem unforgivable for. God is so amazing, He gave His Son for me. He let His SON, die for everything that I have done wrong, and am yet to do wrong! Yet, this is how I repay Him? By putting other things that in the long stretch of life, will be worthless?

When I start to think of such things, I feel worthless. I feel as though I am lower than low. When I know of such majesty as God Himself, how can I be so unappreciative? How can such things ever be forgiven when I keep repeating them, over and over again. I seem to never learn. I can only seem to realize that I need to make my time on earth count, if I don't want to have eternal hell, when I want to.

I ask for forgiveness again and again, but when does it end? How many times can I make the same mistake before I am just taking advantage of God's grace?


&well, I'm just going to leave it at that, and go read the bible. Which I might add, is something long over due.